Kian’s poem

Cyclone smashes through the dark alley,

As Dust devil crashes through the winters night.

Frost freezes car windows silently ,

As Snow falls on houses circumspectley.

Deluge rushes despondently down the hill,

As Rain drizzles on the houses meticulously.

Ice slithers snake-like across the hill negligently,

As Lightning rides across the enigmatic sky.

Rain dances on gusts of frosty air,

As Cloud bathes in light elegantly.

Cumulus rests on snow capped summits,

As Sun rises upon hunched shoulders of the craggy mountains.

Snow lands on rocky mountains extravagently,

As Frost sweeps through the blue yonder.

Gale drives through the winters night,

As Morning dew streaks along the envious grass.

17 Comments

  1. Alaine Powell December 7, 2013 8:41 am  Reply

    Beautiful piece of writing very proud, keep up the great work all 🙂

  2. Sam Batty December 7, 2013 8:52 am  Reply

    I love this poem! Especially with all the bad weather we’ve been having lately!

  3. emma stone December 7, 2013 10:02 am  Reply

    oh kian,thats lovely babe.well done.

  4. Marcia Salmon December 7, 2013 1:45 pm  Reply

    A beautifully written descriptive poem. Well done.

  5. Melissa Kitchen December 7, 2013 2:45 pm  Reply

    Very well written! Love your word choices 🙂

  6. Andrea Winn December 7, 2013 4:28 pm  Reply

    This was amazing! I teach ten and eleven-year-olds in America and I wish my students used that kind of vocabulary! I loved the imagery created by the words you used. Well done!

    • Damon O'Neill December 7, 2013 4:49 pm  Reply

      Thank you, the kids will love that comment! Great use of a thesaurus for the most part! They really love the fact that people across the globe might be reading their work. Poems about fear next week so keep looking. Thanks again!

  7. Cami Russell December 7, 2013 5:00 pm  Reply

    Very nice!! I can see the storm coming as descending as I read this. Great word usage as well! Makes me feel very cold =)

    • Damon O'Neill December 7, 2013 5:03 pm  Reply

      Thank you. It is very cold here! The children really appreciate the comments so please keep looking!

  8. Lindsay Hall December 7, 2013 5:48 pm  Reply

    Very powerful adjectives Kian – well done!

  9. Anonymous December 7, 2013 9:11 pm  Reply

    Good adjectives kian

  10. Molly-Eve December 8, 2013 12:29 pm  Reply

    Hey Kian
    That’s great you are doing much better at this school then st Laurence. I love the poem you have always written creatively.

  11. Justine, Andrew Cull December 8, 2013 5:00 pm  Reply

    Wow, well here we are in a very cold Lapland your words warmed us on this -28 day!! What a fantastic poem Kian xxx

  12. Kian's dad December 9, 2013 9:55 pm  Reply

    One word…. Epic
    Keep up the fantastic work

  13. Debbie Morgan December 10, 2013 1:04 pm  Reply

    Nice writing Kian. I especially like the lines about snow because falling snow is my favorite!

  14. Shohna December 12, 2013 7:51 pm  Reply

    Excellent poem Kian, your use of language is very colourful. I hope you write more 🙂

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